


Always Someone I Can Love

by jonfuckingmoxley



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Frank Castle, Bottom Matt Murdock, First Date, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Smut, Smut and Fluff, Top Matt Murdock, Trans Character, don't need tags for those, frank and matt are gay vigilante husbands, minor appearances by folks, some violence, supernatural creature frank castle, there's nothing really kinky in it yet i don't think so, top Frank Castle, trans frank castle
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-31 03:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6453751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jonfuckingmoxley/pseuds/jonfuckingmoxley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Frank is good at cooking and Matt sometimes can't stop himself from wondering; a series of short Frank Castle/Matt Murdock stories from prompts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> lol sorry @ everyone who likes my rickyl fics: i haven't given up on them, but it's probably gonna be a while before i'm ready to write them again; in the meantime, this ship has taken over my life and i will be spending my time nestling myself deeper and deeper into it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: this particular chapter takes place in my (far from finished) trans matt murdock au :D

Matt feels the question come out before he even really thinks about it.

“How did you get so good at cooking?”

Matt doesn’t mean to ask, he doesn’t, but he’s been wondering ever since the first night Frank cooked for him. It had been _absurdly_ good (Matt didn’t know pork could be anything but dry) and now, every time they were together (minus the one instance in which they were both too tired and bloody and beat to really move and had ordered Thai food), Frank had taken it upon himself to cook for them. 

Matt was happy that it never made him feel like Frank thought he couldn’t do it himself; that had been a problem with some people, that they would do things for Matt because they thought him incapable of really taking care of himself, which always made him angry because his blindness didn’t make him an invalid and he would rather be on his own than with someone who thought of him like that.

With Frank, it was more that the man just _really_ enjoyed the process of cooking. He’d come over and settle himself in Matt’s kitchen with bags of groceries and turn on the radio and start making whatever recipe he had in his head that night. And Matt had noticed that, that he never looked at a book or online. It was always in his head, all from memory. He even _baked,_ and Matt would probably give another sense just to have Frank’s brownies every day. 

But even as he appreciated the meals, he wondered. Matt really never meant to ask, happy to just sit back and enjoy Frank’s cooking (and the way he’d sing along to the radio, Matt had even sensed him _dancing_ once, and that had really been something: the big, bad Punisher, dancing in his apartment while making cookies). He and Frank had an unspoken rule to not pry into each other’s pasts too much. What they shared with each other, they shared out of their own volition, not out of some social obligation to discuss things they weren’t comfortable discussing.

Frank had stopped moving, now, from where he was chopping vegetables. Matt could feel the tension now snapped into those broad shoulders, the man’s whole body pulled tight. His heart had skipped, and his breath caught, and Matt was worried that he might have to fight Frank (maybe in the past, or while they were Daredevil and the Punisher, but right now, in Matt’s home, they were Frank and Matt, and they were _friends,_ and Matt was so, _so_ tired of fighting friends), but then Frank started moving again; taking deep, calming breaths, bringing his heart rate back down, silent for a full two minutes before answering. 

“Started learning from my grandparents when I was younger, but I really started getting better at it when-” A pause, another interruption in the beat of his heart- “when she was born, after I got married.”

Matt felt sick. He should have thought of that. He should have considered it might have something to do with Frank’s family, Matt hadn’t thought about how that might make Frank remember-the man still couldn’t even say his children’s names, for God’s sake- and Matt felt his cheeks turn red. 

“Frank, I’m-”

“Don’t. It’s not a big deal, Red. Don’t beat yourself up.”

That was almost the truth. Frank meant the second part, but not the first. Matt frowned. Frank was working silently again, heart almost back to normal. Matt stood, walking around the counter to where Frank was.

He felt around and Frank stopped moving, watching Matt instead. 

“What are you making?”

“Shepherd’s pie.”

“How can I help?”

Frank’s lips turned up at the corners, just a little. He was still upset, but Matt knew offering to help with dinner was always something that would bring Frank back. Because as much as Frank enjoyed cooking, Matt had learned that Frank  _loved_ it when he shared the experience with someone. 

A fork was placed in his hand and he smiled. “Check the potatoes. They should be gettin’ close to being done.”

Matt walked to the stove, happy to sense some of the tension leave Frank’s body. The radio was turned on a moment later, and soon the apartment was filled with the sounds of both of them singing; Frank much more loudly, but both of them nonetheless.  


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt crosses his line on accident, Frank consoles him.

Frank doesn’t know where Matt is by the time he’s shot the last man. 

One minute he had been able to see Matt fighting, and then he was gone. He must have went after some of the men who tried to run. Frank sighed. They wouldn’t be running if they were dead. 

Frank followed the trail of blood and broken objects; fear and concern stung at his brain, he couldn’t hear any fighting, there was no noise at all, and that was never a good sign. Frank started walking faster, frown set deep in his face and brows drawn together in worry.

It had been a long time since Frank had felt this level of care and concern for someone, but Matt was…Matt was something special, something Frank needed. The thought of one of the criminals having got the drop on him somehow (unrealistic, but worry rarely was rational) and hurting him or-

_No_. Matt’s too good at what he does, that wouldn’t happen. 

If it did, Hell’s Kitchen would experience punishment much more severe than anything Frank had ever done. 

Frank shook himself from his thoughts at the sound of heavy breathing coming from a small room. His gun was pulled, he took a deep breath, and entered.

He put his gun away, relief flooding over him. Matt was there, he was alive, he was…not _actually moving,_ apart from breathing. 

He was kneeling, mask sitting on the floor, next to a body and-

Oh.

That body wasn’t moving at _all._

Frank felt his heart skip. ‘ _Shit, no, no no no, not to Matt, not to him._ ’

He carefully and quietly walked over to Matt, crouching next to him and taking a look at the body. It was undoubtedly one of the men Matt had gone after, and Frank couldn’t exactly tell what had killed him, but he was dead. 

Frank turned to Matt. He was slightly rocking back and forth, muttering something under his breath. Frank kept his voice low and soft when he spoke.

“Hey. Matt? I need you to talk to me. Are you hurt?”

Matt shook his head, eyes vacantly staring in the direction of the body.

“Need you to tell me, Red, can you do that for me?”

Frank tried to be as gentle as possible, knowing that Matt would not be in a good place after this. God, this was bad. This was _shit_. 

“I-I-I just, I hit him, like I’ve hit d-dozens of other people, but he, his heart stop-stopped, I don’t, I didn’t think-I don’t know how-I hit him too hard, but I d-didn’t-”

Matt was starting to hyperventilate, and that wouldn’t help anything. Frank thought of ways to get him to calm down, speaking softly to him again.

“Matt, hey, breath with me, okay, do just what I do.” 

Frank took one of Matt’s hands in his, breathing in for five seconds, holding for six, and breathing out for seven. He’d learned how to do this a long time ago, when he first had panic attacks after losing his family. Matt was doing well, listening to the instruction and breathing with him. Matt was still tense, and Frank expected that. This was going to take a lot to get Matt anywhere near back to normal; Frank wasn’t sure if that would happen at all. 

“I didn’t mean to, I-I didn’t-” Matt turned his head towards Frank, tears streaming from his unseeing eyes, “Frank, I s-swear, I didn’t want-want to, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _I’m sorry_ -”

Matt leaned towards him, and Frank caught him, pulling Matt into his arms. Matt was sobbing, face pressed tight against Frank’s chest, gloved hands gripping his coat. Frank scratched his fingers through Matt’s hair, his other arm wound around Matt’s waist. 

He didn’t really know what to say. Matt had done the one thing he swore to never do, and, accident or not, it was taking its toll on him. What could he say? Nothing would make it better, and Matt was never a fan of simple platitudes. An idea occurred to him, and he hoped that it would be what Matt needed.

Frank kept his voice just loud enough for Matt to hear, turning his head to speak close to Matt’s ear.

“Lord, we call upon You in our time of sorrow, that You give us the strength and will to bear our heavy burdens, until we can again feel the warmth and of Your divine compassion. Be mindful of us, and have mercy on us while we struggle to comprehend life’s hardships. Keep us ever in Your watch, until we can walk again with light hearts and renewed spirits.” 

Matt quieted while Frank recited the prayer; it was one he hadn’t heard in a very long time. 

“Come on, Red. We can’t stay here.”

Frank handed Matt his mask and pulled him along, back home to Matt’s apartment. 

—

It took four hours for Matt to calm down and come back enough to talk to Frank. 

He had just sat on his couch while Frank got him water and crackers and some clothes to change into (Frank had to help him; Matt was unresponsive for the first two hours, then had another panic attack, and then been unresponsive again). On the fourth hour, he said something.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Frank kept himself from wincing. One of the things he’d quickly learned about Matt is that Matt hated feeling helpless; he had striven to avoid that, to never feel incapable or lost. And now, after this, Frank could only imagine how much of that he was feeling.

“I don’t-I feel like I can’t do that anymore. I don’t know if I can be Daredevil after this.”

Frank sat next to Matt on the couch and put an arm around his shoulders, drawing Matt close. Frank wouldn’t speak yet, and only if Matt wanted him too. Now he needed to listen.

“I-I know it was an accident, but if I made one mistake, doesn’t that mean I can make more? What if it happens again? If I can’t control my strength and my attacks then-it’ll happen _again_ , and I don’t want it to.”

Frank started slowly rubbing his hand up and down Matt’s side, pressing into the muscle until it relaxed. 

“I tried so hard to never go too far, but now, what-what if it’s happened _before_ and I just never payed enough attention to realize?” Matt’s eyes were wide and worried, scared. Frank sighed and pulled him closer until Matt could lean against him, hiding his face in Frank’s neck and breathing him in (Frank had learned that smell was a big thing for Matt, and had never minded Matt needing to sniff at him and breathe in his smell). 

“Red, do you wanna know what I think?”

Matt thought for a moment before nodding against Frank’s skin (he valued Frank’s opinion, one way or another).

“I don’t think you should stop being Daredevil. I think you should keep going. This was a bad night. This was a really bad fuckin’ night. But it’s not…it’s not your ‘bad day’.”

Frank knew Matt would remember that from the night on the roof (that felt like years ago).

“You’re not gonna keep killing people, you’re not gonna turn into me after this. I know you’re stronger than that. You’re gonna take a few days off and then put that mask back on and be the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen like you’re meant to be. And you’re gonna do your damnedest to never make this mistake again.”

Matt wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist and pressed closer to him. Part of him wanted to talk back, argue, but a bigger part of him just wanted to sit here and absorb what Frank had said. Frank’s heartbeat told Matt that that was what Frank truly believed, he hadn’t been lying to placate him. That helped; he trusted Frank, as he had rarely been wrong in the past. 

Matt knew this was going to weigh on him for a long time, but Frank was right: he was meant to be Daredevil. Nothing would stop that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh matt has probably killed a bunch of folks but it's never been on purpose


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of anniversaries and important moments in Frank and Matt's relationship.

I.

Matt didn’t mind the little press of lips to his forehead. He didn’t, he didn’t really mind any affection from Frank; they both loved touching each other as often as they could, having gone so long without non-violent touch. 

But it did seem odd. He had sensed Frank feel a bit of surprise-back straightened, eyebrows raised, heart a little faster-before quickly walking to where Matt was sitting and working on his laptop and leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead before going back to what he was doing. The affection itself wasn’t anything unusual, but that moment of surprise made Matt wonder. 

“Frank?”

“Yeah, babe?”

Matt smiled. “What was that for?”

He sensed Frank’s small grin. “Guess you might not remember.”

Matt tilted his head, questioning. 

“First night we met. Year ago today.”

Matt’s jaw dropped. “Are you _serious_? You kissed me where you _shot_ me?”

Frank’s smile grew. “Figured it was about time I kissed it better.”

Matt threw a pen at him as he laughed.

II.

Frank thought about his first kiss with Matt a lot.

It happened six months ago, before they actually even got together, and Frank hadn’t exactly meant for it to happen, but he had seen someone beating Matt in a fight and he’d never seen Matt like that, and adrenaline had taken over, he’d beaten the man to death his bare hands. Matt had tried to stop him, but he was never going to let the man hurt someone again, never hurt _Matt_ again. 

Frank had stood and turned to face Matt, bloody hands cupping his face and pulling him close, crashing his mouth into Matt’s; it wasn’t as gentle as it should have been, clumsy and harsh, but he’d pulled away just enough to angrily whisper _“I’m not gonna fucking lose you, too”_ before sliding his lips against Matt’s more gracefully, slower, tongue slipping into Matt’s mouth and hands gripping his hips. 

And now, six months later to the day, he thought about it while waiting for Matt to get home. He meant it, he’d fight God himself if that’s what it took to keep Matt Murdock in his life.

III.

Matt, for the life of him, could not figure out why Frank waited so long to have an actual, honest-to-God date. 

It had been more than a month since Frank kissed him (and he had kissed Frank back, vigorously, for a good long while), and Matt had expected for their relationship to advance quickly after that, but Frank had waited. They had seen each other in the time between, of course; they ordered pizza the first time they were together after the kiss, and had spent the whole evening watching (or listening to, in Matt’s case) delightfully bad old horror movies, Frank describing what was going on in ridiculous detail, and it had been…Matt hadn’t had a night like that in years.

But they hadn’t talked about the kiss (though they had continued kissing, they both enjoyed it too much to not) and hadn’t talked about the direction that their relationship was going. Matt wondered if they needed to. 

He assumed that it was just going to be the same as always, when he heard Frank enter the building and come up to his apartment. But there was something different, there was a new smell, cologne, and-

_No way._

Matt ran to the door, flinging it open, and there was Frank, clean and dressed, holding a bag of groceries and an _actual_ bouquet of _flowers_. Matt leaned forward, trying to identify the flowers. It smelled like a mix of different kinds, they were all lovely. 

“What’s all this?”

Frank was looking at the ground, shy. “It’s…supposed to be our first date?”

Matt blinked, smiling, and let Frank actually come inside. “Are-really? Why did you-it’s been a month, Frank.”

He followed Frank to the kitchen, filling a vase with water and putting the flowers in it. They really did smell wonderful.

“I know. Just wanted it to be special, and didn’t have an opportunity to do it earlier. Either way…”

Frank paused, turning to look towards Matt. “This is about a month after, I guess our first not-real ‘date’ date.” 

Matt blushed; of course Frank would plan it out like that. Matt walked up to Frank, resting his hands on his broad, strong chest and kissing him lightly on the lips. Frank wound his arms around Matt’s waist and pulled him closer, smiling against Matt’s mouth.

“You are so ridiculous sometimes.”

IV. 

“Frank, quit, you’ll be fine.”

“He’s gonna hate me, Red.”

“Do you really care?”

“No, but he’s your best friend, Matt.”

Matt sighed. Foggy was coming over to have lunch with them and officially meet Frank, not as a client or the Punisher, but as Frank Castle: Matt Murdock’s boyfriend. 

Matt knew that Foggy didn’t approve of their relationship (”He’s a murderer, Matt! ACTUAL, CONVICTED MURDERER!”) but Matt still wanted to try and salvage some kind of civility between them. He loved Foggy, Foggy was his best and closest friend in the whole world; and he loved Frank, he was the most amazing partner he’d ever had and wouldn’t trade him for the world. 

“He’s almost here. Is everything almost ready?”

“Yeah, just about ten more minutes.”

Frank was fidgeting in the kitchen, restless and jumpy. Matt sighed again, walking over to Frank and wrapping his arms around him from behind, resting his head between Frank’s shoulder blades. He felt Frank relax before he turned to face Matt. 

Matt tilted his head up, pecking Frank on the lips. 

“You’re going to be fine, Frank. Even if this doesn’t go well, I will still love you and want to be with you.”

Frank huffed and rested his forehead against Matt’s. “I love you, too.”

Matt kissed him once more and went to open the door. Foggy didn’t even look surprised, just walked in and set his bag down. 

“I brought beer, I didn’t know if you had any. And as payback for finishing off your last six pack.”

Matt grinned and took the beer. “Thanks, man. Food’s almost ready, Frank’s just now finishing it.”

Foggy’s face did something, and Matt was sure it was a look of distaste. “He’s a great cook, Foggy, and he’s not gonna poison you, so don’t be so nervous.”

“Is your hearing so good that you can hear thoughts now? What number am I thinking?”

Matt rolled his eyes and sat on the couch. “No, I just know you. And one, because you always pick one.” 

Foggy sat across from him in the chair. Frank’s back was stick-straight while he finished cooking. Foggy kept turning his head minutely to watch Frank and Matt could not believe they were both being _this_ ridiculous.

“Food’s ready, babe.”

Frank sat their plates in front of them before grabbing his own and sitting next to Matt, and Matt _heard_ Foggy’s bewildered expression at the pet name. 

Matt and Frank both started to eat; it was delicious, as all of Frank’s meals were.

“So what are your intentions with Matt?”

Matt choked and Frank almost dropped his plate. Foggy had apparently decided _now_ was the best time to start the interrogation. 

“My intentions?”

Matt could hear the  _‘Who the fuck says it like that anymore’_ in Frank’s tone and tried to hide his smile. 

“Yeah. Are you like, planning to get serious? Is Matt just a hook up or stress relief or something like that to you?” 

“Oh my God, Foggy, _really_.”

Frank set his plate down on the table and glared at Foggy. He sat up straight, and Matt knew he looked like the perfect image of a soldier right then. 

“My ‘intentions’ are to be his boyfriend, and love him and care for him. It’s what I’ve been doing and it’s what I’m gonna keep doing. He’s not just a fuck, he’s not just someone to get my mind off of the shit I do. I love him, he’s the only good thing that’s happened in my life for a long goddamn time, and he means the fucking world to me.”

Matt felt his cheeks heat up as he reached over, setting his hand over Frank’s. Not a word of that had been a lie, Frank’s heart had been steady and strong the whole time he spoke. Matt felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he held onto Frank’s hand. 

Foggy was quiet, before letting out a soft hum and starting to eat. 

Apparently that was it. Matt worried; he knew Foggy would never really be friends with Frank or even really trust him, but if he could just accept Frank as a part of Matt’s life, then that would be enough. 

V. 

Frank was so uncomfortable being in a church. 

It had been so long, and considering his current feelings towards the Divine, he couldn’t stop his finger from twitching. 

Even as Matt closed a hand around his, it still twitched, squeezing a phantom trigger. 

They were waiting on Father Lantom, Matt’s priest. Frank knew how important Matt’s faith is to him and how upset he would be if Frank refused to go meet Lantom. Matt didn’t ask him to attend Mass, but he did request this, and Frank could do this. 

“Matt?”

That must be him. He looked the part of the priest, and he approached Matt quickly and hugged him. 

“How have you been?”

“I’ve been alright, Father.”

Lantom turned to Frank, and Frank stood at attention. “This must be the man you told me about. It’s nice to finally meet you, Frank.”

They shook hands, Father Lantom turning and leading them to the back part of the church. 

“Latte?”

“For me, yes, Frank likes his coffee black.”

Lantom laughed and Frank frowned. “I think we can manage a cup of black coffee.”

Soon they were sitting in a small office, two of them holding lattes and the other holding a cup of strong, plain coffee. The conversation was mostly between Matt and Lantom, catching up, Matt telling him about some of the more unpleasant things he’d dealt with recently. Then Lantom turned his attention towards Frank.

“So, Frank, are you a Catholic?”

Frank cleared his throat while Matt took his hand again. Frank relaxed at that, the small show of affectionate support always helped ground him. 

“I was.”

“Was?” 

“Something…something happened and it- I couldn’t do it anymore.”

Matt squeezed his hand, and Frank squeezed back. 

“That usually drives people more towards the church.”

“Ain’t how it worked for me.”

Father Lantom nodded. “I take it you and Matt are doing well? He’s told me about you many times.”

Frank smiled, glancing over at Matt. “Yeah. He’s-we’re good.”

“Good. The Lord knows Matt needs someone in his life who will bring him some stability, and you look like a man who can do that.”

Matt grinned, and Frank ran his thumb over Matt’s fingers.

They talked for a while longer, before heading out (Frank shook Lantom’s hand again and had agreed to meet him alone sometime; apparently Lantom had some questions he wanted to ask). 

Matt looped his arm through Frank’s, pressing their shoulders close on the walk home. 

“Thank you for meeting with him, Frank. I-it means a lot to me that you would do that for me.”

“He’s important to you, Red, I wanna know the people you care about.” Frank squeezed Matt’s hand. “Besides, it wasn’t that bad. He seems alright.” 

Matt hummed happily, pressing closer to Frank. 

“Can’t believe you both drink that nasty ass coffee, though.”

“Oh, hush. I get enough bitterness from you, let me have my sweetened coffee.”

Frank laughed and leaned down to kiss Matt’s cheek. He would always be happy to do things like this for Matt. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idek w/ this one y'all but it was FUN


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a buddy of mine requested a Hades and Persephone au because of a headcanon/waxing poetic post i made about frank having a green thumb and him and matt growing things together. this happened.

One of the things that none of the other gods ever seemed to understand about Frank was that he, down in the dark of the underworld, was lonely. 

Yes, he had Max, and sometimes the only thing he could stand to be around was his guard dog (’guard’ is a fairly strong word, as Max was sweeter than most of what lived on the world; it was common to see Max comforting the souls of the dead, especially those who died young or suddenly-a familiar creature to ease passage), but Frank was lonely, nonetheless. 

But he didn’t mind his home. Few of the other gods ever ventured down, and Frank rarely left (a few times, to argue with a god or goddess that had unfairly sent someone to the underworld-Frank’s job was to judge and punish the souls appropriately, and he’d be damned if someone’s jealousy or spite would lead to an innocent person being ruined). It was fairly dark, there, lit by luminescent rocks along the walls, torches placed here and there, the flames glinting off of precious metals that streaked through the walls and floors. His home was beautiful, even if no one else could see it. 

But Frank had resigned himself to an eternity of being alone. He regularly checked up on the world, making sure that none of those idiots had messed it up too badly. Sometimes he couldn’t believe the king of the gods was garnering such a reputation (Frank couldn’t help but feel angry at him; how dare he betray his marriage, something so sacred). The world continued to turn, and life- and death- went on. 

One day, Frank had to make a short trip up to the world- Karen, one of the few gods he could stand, had asked to speak with him, and Karen was kind and fierce and one of the only gods that seemed fucking competent enough to not screw around or turn people into animals every other week. She had apparently only wanted to chat, which had been…odd. But nice. She asked him how his home was, and he was happy to share. Karen had told him that the harvest god, Jack, had had a child, under some rather odd circumstances. She had ended on that remark, with a curious little smile.

Frank thought nothing of it. 

He left, promising to come by soon, and extending an invitation for Karen to come see the underworld. Frank walked back along his path to the portal to his home, admiring the world along the way. It was almost a shock to his system, how bright it was, how…alive. 

Frank stopped to look at a plant that hadn’t been there earlier; a lovely little thing, with dozens of dark petals. It looked almost black, but when the sun hit it, Frank could see that it was a rich, dark red. There seemed to be a trail of them leading up to the portal. That set him on edge; no one was supposed to go near the entrances to the underworld. They were dangerous, and almost impossible to navigate for most. 

Frank stepped through, looking around for anything out of place. 

There was a man, deep red cloth draped around his thin frame. He was pale, with flushed red cheeks and lips, and dark, short hair. 

He was most certainly out of place.

“Who are you?”

“I’m-I’m sorry, my name is Matt, I don’t…I don’t know where I am.”

Frank glanced at the wall where Matt had been touching. Strange looking yellow flowers had grown in long branches against the rock. 

Frank slowly approached Matt. The man didn’t flinch, or even seem frightened. Matt looked curious, if anything. 

“How did you do that?” 

“The flower?”

“Yeah.”

Matt smiled, and that alone seemed to brighten the area. “It’s what I do. I make things grow, and it…I don’t know. I guess it’s what I was born to do. My father always says that.”

Frank realized, rather late, that this must be the new son of the harvest god.

“Why are you here?”

Matt laughed, and Frank felt lighter. “I don’t exactly know where ‘here’ is.” He waved a hand in front of his face. “I can’t see.”

“A blind god? That’s new.”

Matt frowned a little, and Frank felt an intense urge to apologize. “It was punishment. I wasn’t…I wasn’t really supposed to be born. So the king took my eyesight. I don’t really mind, though. There are plenty of ways to get around without eyes.” 

Frank hummed. “I guess you’re gonna be going back, huh? Underworld isn’t really a place for something as pretty as you, sunshine.”

The color on Matt’s cheeks deepened. “Really? From what I hear it’s dark and dreary.” Matt stepped closer, just a touch, leaning into Frank’s space slightly. “Sounds like ‘sunshine’ is exactly what it needs.” 

Frank looked into the deep hazel of Matt’s eyes. “Come with me.”

——-

Matt was a bright and welcome addition to the underworld. It seemed like everywhere he touched, a flower or tree grew. One in particular sprung to life faster than others, bearing heavy red fruits. 

Frank led him through the halls and paths, describing the souls they passed. Matt’s arm was inked with his, the younger god happily listening, occasionally stopping to interact with a soul, or to run his fingers along something, ‘seeing’ it while Frank talked about it.

Quite a bit of time passed before Frank led them back to his home, large rooms carved into the stone. Max ran to greet them, each head happy to see Frank, and intrigued by Matt. Matt bent down to pet Max’s head, scratching behind three sets of ears, and getting kissed by three over-excited tongues in return. 

Frank took in the sight and felt something shift, almost a swell, in his chest. Frank had always loved his home as is, but seeing the light that Matt brought with him…

Frank wondered how he’d lived without that. 

He led him to a sitting room, the floor lined with cushions and low tables-Frank didn’t spend much time here, but kept it as maintained as the rest of his home. They talked for hours that stretched on like eternity, telling each other about their lives, their beliefs, what they thought of their place in the world. 

Matt felt as though something was missing from his life. He loved making things grow and come to life, but he felt a distinct lack of…of true purpose, like there was something even greater he needed to do. 

Frank, though hesitant, opened up about his loneliness. He told Matt about how so many of the gods refused to come down, he’d heard their talk: ‘it’s so dark, so cold, so depressing in the underworld’. 

Matt frowned, brow furrowing. “I don’t think any of that’s true.”

Frank blinked. “What?”

“Any of what the other gods have said about the underworld.” Matt continued, “this place isn’t…it’s not dark, I’m blind and I can see that. It’s not cold, or uninviting either. There’s a warmth around here that feels like, like it’s seeping through the walls themselves. And this, this is so far from depressing. Just because you deal with the dead doesn’t mean that it’s sad. Death isn’t always equivalent to sadness. I think..I think this might be a better place than most, honestly. 

“You deal with the dead, and yes, you punish those who deserve it, but you make this a home for all the souls who’ve earned rest. You even opened your home to me, sat and talked with me, and I-”

Mat flushes again, and Frank thinks he’d like to see that every day. “I think this place feels…comfortable. Like-like a home.”

Frank speaks before he can think not to: “It could be your home. If you want.”

Matt’s eyes get huge, and Frank panics a little, thinking he’s ruined this newfound…something, with Matt, and he doesn’t want it gone, because Matt is, well.

Frank is thrown for a second, thinking about what Matt is. Is this what the king goes through? Does he fall in love so easily? Is that why he’s known for having so many partners? Or does he fall to lust? 

Frank doesn’t think this is just a simple fancy; Frank has never felt this before. Matt strode into his domain and Frank felt complete. 

And so too, unbeknownst to Frank, did Matt feel the same sense of completion. He felt it the moment he sensed the feared and dreaded god of the underworld standing in front of him, asking him how he grew his flowers. 

Matt reaches over, and grasps Frank’s hand. 

“I want to stay.”

——

Jack was, most of the time, barring certain instances involving certain gods of music being overtly arrogant, a fairly peaceful god. He tended to the life on the earth, going about his business in the usual way.

But he couldn’t, for the life of him, figure out where Matt had gotten off to. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t think his son could take care of himself, but he was a father, and it was a father’s job to worry. Jack had gotten used to not seeing Matt as often, but it had been at least two months, and no one had heard from him. Usually at least one of the gods would come to him and say “I saw Matt the other day…” 

But there had been nothing. Not until Elektra had mentioned, an odd look on her face, that one of her messengers had seen Matt in the underworld. “It looked like the ruler had captured him,” she’d said, “I do believe that Matthew might be in trouble.”

Jack took her words with a grain of salt, as she had a habit of spreading rumors. But the god of the underworld was…less than friendly. He stayed down in his little world, coming up rarely to speak with one or two others. If Matt was down there, Jack doubted it was of his own free will.

Jack spoke to the king, asking him to go and get his son back. 

The king refused, “I can’t just go storming the underworld.”

Another two months passed, and Jack couldn’t take it. He stopped bringing life to the grains, the trees bore no more fruit. The world was soon starving, and Jack wanted to stop it, but the sorrow at the seeming loss of his son overtook him. 

One day, the king came to him. “You can’t keep doing this. People are dying and starving, and the world has been taken over by cold.”

“I couldn’t keep my son safe, how can you expect me to do the same for the world?”

“If it will stop this, I will bring back your son from the underworld.”

Not long after, Jack and the king made their way to the underworld, walking along paths that were now almost overgrown with trees and blossoms of all kinds, brightening up the halls. Souls lingered by them, happily stroking the leaves, some sitting under the shade in groups and laughing. It…it was odd. 

They soon came upon Frank’s home, Max eyeing them warily, one head barking to alert his owner to their presence. 

Frank stepped out, followed closely by Matt.

“Matt, what are you doing here?”

“Dad?”

Frank stepped to the side, letting Matt move forward. “Why are you two here? Is something wrong?”

“Rumor has it that you’ve kidnapped Jack’s son. We’re here to bring him back.” 

Matt jerked away from where he had embraced his father. “What?”

“I didn’t kidnap him, he wandered in and stayed on his own.”

“Why would he want to stay here?”

Matt turned to the king, standing toe to toe with him, small next to the towering bulk of the leader of the gods, but nonetheless directing his unseeing eyes at him, full of fire and determination. Frank only fell more in love. 

“I wanted to stay because this felt like home. I felt right here, I feel right with Frank. It was of my own free will, and I plan on staying.”

The king looked angry. “You are not meant for the underworld. Your father was so torn by your absence that the world started starving.”

Jack looked away when Matt turned to him. “I didn’t know if you were safe. I’m..I’m sorry.”

“Dad, I’m more than safe. I’m happy. Frank has been wonderful to me, and I-I love him.”

The king, still angry at the defiance, spoke: “Love or not, you are not meant to be here. You are coming back the world.”

Frank moved to stand between Matt and the king. “Fuck off. Matt can do what he wants to do. If he wants to stay, he has my full welcome to stay. And if-if he wants to go back, I won’t stop him.”

Jack stood next to his son, taking his hand. “Do you really want to stay?”

“Yes, dad.”

Jack turned to the king. “He has my permission to stay, and because I see that Frank has treated him with love and kindness, they have my blessing.”

The king was now furious; no one had ever defied him like this, or the order of things. “I command you to come back to the world, and you cannot refuse a command from me.”

Frank moved quickly, striking the king. Jack had gone to do the same, while Matt ran, towards the path he first took, arm in arm with Frank. He ran, the king and his father and Frank following him, until he came to a stop in front of a tree.

It was the tree whose branches were heavy with huge, ripe, red fruits. Matt remembered something he’d been told by a Fate, that if you ate from something grown in the underworld, you would be tied to it forever.

Matt tore into the flesh of the fruit, swallowing down the seeds, a bright, tart flavor bursting over his tongue, wet juices falling in rivulets down his chin. 

The king had stopped, as had Jack and Frank, staring at Matt. He stared back, unseeing, somewhat vulnerable, but brave in the face of much more powerful gods. 

“I am now bound to the underworld. Even you can’t change the rules of the Fates.”

The king stormed off, leaving the three gods alone. Frank approached Matt slowly, taking the fruit from his hands and eating some of the seeds as well.

“I’m bound to you, just as much as you’re bound to my home.”

Jack smiled at the display. He had been wrong about the god of the underworld; Frank had shown no cruelty, no evil. Jack thought, really, as he watched the god lean down to press the lightest kiss to Matt’s lips, that his son would be alright here. 

“Matt, I want to give you something. The harvest isn’t the only thing I preside over, but I think you could do more with it than I can. I am hereby giving you rule over sacred law; I think it’ll come in handy down here, don’t you?”

Matt hugged his father tight, burying his face into Jack’s neck. Frank felt a pang of sadness sting at his chest. “Matt, I think you should go back. Maybe not..not all the time, but for a little while. I need my sunshine, but so does the world.” 

Matt stayed for a few months longer, before returning to the world. Every time he’d come back, life would spring into motion, and whenever he left, it would fall back. The world became used to the cycle of seasons, and benefited from it. 

Frank and Matt spent most of the year together, and Frank began coming up to the world more. He and Matt had run into Karen on one trip, who had just smiled a mysterious little smile and been…unnervingly not surprised by the fact that they were together. Many of the other gods soon started talking to Frank more. Some even started regularly visiting the underworld. 

One of the things that none of the other gods had understood about Frank was that he was lonely. 

Frank thought now, whenever he looked at Matt, that it was hard to remember ever feeling alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all...i don't even know. this changes tone like eight times and is honestly just so odd? but i kind of love it so w/e. and this is like, the opposite of slow burn. this is like sudden explosion


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I want a 5+1 fic where it’s 5 times Frank steals little trinkets and gifts for Matt (although he has assured Matt that they don’t come from the people he kills, because anything those assholes owned is tainted and he isn’t a trophy killer god Matthew) and there is some chance he does it because Matt is so cute when he’s riled up. And 1 time he gives Matt something precious that is very much not stolen and results in a lot of feels."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> friend came up with the prompt. wrote it for them. hopefully it holds up to quality standards.
> 
> featuring jewish frank and matt :D

1. 

Matt doesn’t notice it, at first. There’s barely anything to notice. But he runs his hand across the nightstand, reaching for his phone, it’s there. Next to a piece of paper, braille carefully punched in. 

‘ _Don’t worry, it’s not ugly, but you said you wanted one after temple last week, so I nabbed this. Left to take Max to the park. See you tonight- FC’_

Matt rolled his eyes and ignored the method of how Frank got it. Matt picked up the necklace, running his fingers along the smooth chain-he wondered if it was gold or silver? Likely silver, Frank knew it was Matt’s favorite of the two-and then over the pendant, a tiny six-pointed star. Simple metal, no stones, and Matt immediately slipped it over his neck. The pendant rested right at the hollow of his throat. 

Matt grinned, and got ready for the day. 

2. 

Matt blinked and caught the object Frank threw to him. It said something about their closeness that Frank felt comfortable throwing things at Matt and knowing that he’d catch them. 

Matt ran his fingers over it, and sighed. 

“Another Statue of Liberty souvenir? Frank.”

Matt couldn’t see it, but he  _knew_ Frank was grinning. 

“What? Those places don’t have great security, Matt, it’s so easy to just sneak those things out. And you’re getting a nice, big collection of them.”

“No, YOU are getting a collection of them, because you keep stealing one from every tourist trap you pass by.”

Matt heard Frank heading towards the bathroom, the sound of a towel being tossed over his shoulder and Max’s steps right behind him. 

“They’re on a shelf in  _your_  apartment. They’re yours, doll.”

Matt’s mouth hung open and he only managed to respond once Frank had closed the bathroom door. 

“YOU LIVE HERE TOO, FRANK!”

3. 

“Frank.”

“Yes?”

“Is that a dog?”

“…….No?”

The puppy made a weak attempt at barking and pawed at Matt’s shoe. 

“Frank. It’s clearly a dog.”

Silence. 

“Frank. Where did you get the dog?”

“Come on, Matt, he was stuck at a goddamn mill, you know they would have treated him like shit.”

“You stole the dog?”

“I didn’t  _steal_  him, I  _saved_  him. Applaud my heroics.”

Matt rolled his eyes and sighed, crouching down and picking up the puppy. Max was right there too, obviously interested in the new addition. The puppy was wonderfully soft, and kept trying to lick Matt’s face. Matt smiled and directed his eyes to where Frank was sitting. 

“Stop bringing stolen things to my apartment.”

“I thought it was our apartment?”

“Frank, I swear-”

“His name is Temerario.”

“Frank.”

“Yes, honeybun?”

“You named the dog Daredevil?”

4. 

Matt panted hard; the night had gone exactly how he needed it to, the bad guys were arrested, the people were saved. 

But he’d heard a certain someone tell him to come to the roof of a certain building at a certain time, and that had broken his concentration a bit. 

Matt slipped onto the roof, graceful as can be. He paused; he couldn’t sense him anywhere near, but he caught the distinct scent that just screamed ‘Frank Castle’. 

He followed to where it was strongest, and noticed a small box on the ground. He reached down and grabbed it. Matt could tell there was nothing dangerous inside; as if there was any chance of that. Matt took his gloves off before opening it and reaching in. 

The crystal was cold in his hands, pleasantly so. He ran his fingers over the smooth surface, puzzling out the shape. 

It was a carefully constructed crystal flower, a rose, to be exact. The facets were delicate and he knew it must be stunning. He assumed (correctly, as he’d later find out) that it was red. There was a note inside. 

_‘Happy anniversary. Remember this rooftop?- FC’_

Matt smiled and touched the cold petals of the rose. He did remember. This was where they first talked, Matt chained to a post and Frank sewing himself up. 

Happy anniversary, indeed.

5.

Matt stormed into the room, Temerario close on his heels. He came to a stop in front of Frank, who sat at the table, cleaning his guns while Max lay on the floor at his feet. 

Frank didn’t look up. 

“Something you need, Red?”

“Really.”

“Hm?”

“Where did you even-when did they even start MAKING these?”

“They’ve been in circulation for a while, Red.”

“Why-Frank, why are there  _six_  of them?”

“Had to get every version. Hey, you still got that black outfit one of ‘em’s in? Never seen you in that before, but if it looks that good on-”

“An action figure, Frank. There are _action figures_ of me.”

“Yup.”

“And you stole them?”

“Put ‘em on the shelf with the Statue Of Liberty collection. Hey, don’t take ‘em out though. Might be worth a pretty penny later on.”

Matt sat down at the table, both exasperated with his boyfriend’s evident addiction to stealing stupid shit for him, and shocked by the fact that there were toys of him being sold. 

What led him to this life.

+1. 

Matt could practically feel Frank’s nervous heartbeat in his own chest. It wasn’t a bad nervous, Matt could tell that, but it still was always strange to hear it change from its normal steady, easy beat.

Frank sat down next to him, handing him a cup of warm cocoa. It was a chilly night in fall, and Frank had led him up to the roof, where he’d laid out blankets and thermoses and food. They’d never done this before, not like this. all of their rooftop dates had been in the middle of missions, quick moments caught together before going back to work. 

This was nice. Calm. Sweet.

Frank cleared his throat. 

“You know, I kinda miss being able to see stars.”

Matt sipped at his drink. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, I-when I was deployed overseas, I could see-man, you wouldn’t believe the stars out there, Red. It’s crazy.”

Matt set his cup down and leaned against Frank, snuggling up to his side.

“Tell me about them.”

Frank’s arm slid around his waist. 

“It’s like…it’s like there’s this great big light out in the universe and someone put up a big, dark screen, but then put a bunch of holes in it so we could see just a little bit of it. Out there, where there’s none of-none of this city, so much fewer people-there’s nothing like that. All those stars, Matt, you think you can see the whole goddamn plan in ‘em.”

Matt smiled. 

“It sounds beautiful.”

Frank was quiet for a few minutes. 

“I used to watch the stars with my family.”

Matt didn’t tense up, didn’t freeze, just pressed closer to Frank. 

“We’d drive out to wherever the fuck no one lived, didn’t matter how long it took. We’d make a day of it. Go out and just lay in a field and look up, look up until everyone fell asleep. Then I’d get ‘em all back in the car and drive home.” 

Frank pulled away and Matt didn’t stop him. 

“One time, Li-Lisa, right before I was about to ship out again, she gave me something.”

Frank reached into his pocket, pulling out a small metal object, and handing it to Matt. 

Matt touched over it, feeling it. It was a piece of flat metal, a series of dots pressed into it; Matt knew the pattern, from way back in his childhood, a person in his building talking about stars and constellations and stories.

“Canis Major? And Orion?”

“Yeah. She knew those two were my favorites.”

Matt held the metal in his hands, feeling the bumps, the material heating in his hands. 

“I want you to have it.”

“What?”

Frank’s voice was quiet now. 

“I want you to have it, Matt. I-you and her would’ve gotten along. I want-I want you to have a little part of her, since you can’t-”

Frank had to stop there, and Matt stayed quiet for a moment. He thought about protesting it, saying that he wasn’t anywhere near worthy of the gift. 

“Thank you, Frank. I’m-I’m very grateful to have this.”

Frank sniffled, Matt could feel the air moving past his arm as he wiped at his face. Matt held the piece of metal tight in his hand and Frank pressed close to him again. Matt tilted his head up. He’d never gotten to properly see the stars, not before he lost his sight. But he was happy to be here, with Frank, feeling the imprints of stars in his hands. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very late halloween story.

Matt sat quietly in the back of the taxi, hands folded on his lap. He made the trip every year. 

The ride was long and fairly quiet, the window closest to him opened slightly, letting in the chill of October, the very last night of October, sharp cold blowing over his face. He liked that feeling, if felt right, for the night. He wondered if there were stars out, if it was cloudy. What the moon was like.

“Excuse me, sir?”

The driver hummed in acknowledgment. 

“What does the moon look like right now?”

“The moon?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, it’s, uh-let me see-look at that, it’s full. Seems right for Halloween, huh?”

Matt smiled. 

“Yes, yes it does.”

Fifteen more minutes passed before the driver pulled over and parked the car.

“You need a ride back?”

“Yes, tomorrow morning at seven thirty. Thank you.”

Matt paid and opened the car door, unfolding his cane and thanking the driver again. He knew it must be odd, a blind man asking to be driven out to a field on Halloween at night. Matt breathed deep, inhaling the cold and pulling his coat tighter around himself. He walked forward, toward the field. His heart beat a bit faster, the nervous feeling tingling up his legs like a slow spider crawling along his skin. A cold feeling-the same as every year-settled into his spine, worry nagging at him. Maybe this will be the year something goes wrong.

Matt heard a particular rustling, and reached into his pocket. There was a growl from directly in front of him, deep and low to the ground.

He held out a few of the dog treats he’d had in his pockets. 

“Hello, Max. Come to guide me?”

He could feel Max’s demeanor change, and the dog licked the treats out of his hand before putting his front paws up on Matt’s chest and didn’t step down until Matt leaned down enough to receive some very happy and long-awaited kisses. Matt laughed and handed Max another treat. 

“Come on, Max, we don’t want to keep him waiting.”

Max barked and hopped around Matt, happily walking right at his side and leading him through the field, and into the forest beyond. The walk was fairly long, but Matt didn’t mind. He enjoyed the initial walk with Max. Max was a good dog.

Considering he sat, diligent, every year for a whole year, protecting and guarding and waiting, he may likely be the best dog.

They finally came upon the little cave-still more room in there than most apartments in Manhattan, but Matt imagined it was still fairly small for a cave-Matt got to starting a fire up. It was cozy and warm, soon, the fire roaring and fighting back the chill from outside. Matt took his clothes off and found his way to the nearby pile of furs and cushions, settling in. He laid his head down, knowing that he would only come when Matt was asleep. 

He drifted off easily, knowing that Max was guarding him. 

—

Matt woke up at the sound of groaning and cracking and some horrid wet noise. Only horrid to most, as to Matt, it meant he’d be here soon. 

The scent of gunpowder and blood manifested then, and Matt smiled.

“Hello, Frank.”

He heard a few more cracks, tiny ones, and knew Frank was smiling. 

“Hey, Matt.”

That  _voice_ , that rough, beautiful voice that Matt only heard on this night, and in his dreams. Matt stood and walked to where Frank was, inhaling deeply, that gunpowder-blood smell strongest here. He lifted his hands, running them over Frank’s bare chest. A thin layer of a sticky substance was still on Frank’s cool skin; Frank had explained it as ectoplasm, once, leftover from the transformation. A little otherworldly leaving. 

It had been unpleasant at first, but Matt rather liked it at this point. 

“I missed you, Matt.”

“I missed you too, Frank. How are you?”

“Not so lonely anymore, now that it’s our night together.”

Matt smiled as Frank joined their lips, licking at the sweet taste of Frank’s mouth. He felt Frank moan, and let his hands move up to grip at his thick, soft hair. Frank’s hands drifted down Matt’s back, over his ass, down to his thighs; Matt could feel the fading claws scratching down over his sensitive skin.

A loud bark came from next to them, and they broke the kiss, both of them laughing. Frank pulled away and kneeled down, while Matt returned to the bed. 

“Hey, buddy. How’s my doggy? Have you been good? You got Matt here safe and sound, you’re such a good dog. Aren’t you a good dog? Yes you are! Who’s the best boy? It’s you! You’re the best boy! The best doggy in the whole world!”

Matt sighed happily, listening to Frank and Max. The dog was, from the sound of it, very eagerly and happily giving Frank about as many kisses as he could. 

“Good boy, good puppy. Hey, buddy, can you sit and eat dinner while I’m with Matt? Yeah, you can do that. Good boy. Go on, go lay down.”

Matt could hear Max happily toddling off to go eat….something. Matt didn’t know what and didn’t care to find out. Frank came over to the bed and laid next to Matt, pulling one of the large, cobbled-together blankets over their bodies. Between Frank, the blankets, and the fire, Matt couldn’t even remember that he’d been cold just earlier. 

Frank kissed him, one hand cupping his face and the other sliding down to his hip. Matt moaned, wrapping his arms around Frank’s broad shoulders. He felt Frank’s cock press against his own, the thick length hard and pleasantly cool. Matt reached up into Frank’s hair and tugged on it, urgent and needy. 

“Frank-please, Frank, I need-I need you, I missed you, please fuck me-”

“Shh, shh, Matt, I got you, I’ll take care of you.”

Matt relaxed-somewhat-knowing that was the truth. Frank sat up on his knees and ran his hands up Matt’s legs, soothing him, gently spreading them. Matt bit his lip and spread them wider, hoping he looked good for Frank. From the sound of Frank’s breathing, he thought he did. 

Frank wrapped a hand around Matt’s cock and stroked it, Matt gasping at the rough skin of Frank’s palm rubbing the sensitive underside. 

“Frank-please!” 

Frank laughed quietly and leaned down, sucking the head into his mouth. Matt cried out, gripping the blanket under him. He felt Frank smile around his cock, before pulling off. 

“I missed you, Matt, missed feeling you next to me, in me, g-fuck, Matt, I love you.”

Matt gasped, eyes wet from the words. 

“I love you too, Frank.”

Matt sat up, reaching out, knowing Frank was right in front of him. He wrapped a hand around the back of Frank’s neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Frank shifted forward until his cock pressed against Matt’s, wet and thick. Frank reached between them, wrapping a still-slick hand around them both. Matt gasped into the kiss, arching forward, thrusting into Frank’s grip. He still marveled at how Frank was just a little  _too_  big, a little  _too_  heavy, a little  _too_  cold to be human. His thick, rough fingers ended in sharp points, his teeth like tiny daggers, skin always covered in a thin layer of that slick. 

Matt felt his breath quicken, Frank’s hand moving faster on both of them. 

“Oh-fuck-Frank, I-”

“C’mon, c’mon, baby, do it, come for me, I love you, baby-fuck, I’m-”

Frank heaved in a breath of air, a choked noise escaping him, and Matt felt Frank’s cock twitch against his own, spurting thick ropes of come over Matt’s belly. Frank’s hand tightened and Matt came, too, inhaling sharply and throwing an arm around Frank’s shoulders. 

Frank carefully laid them down as he caught his breath. He kissed at Matt’s neck and cheeks, a trail of ectoplasm left after. Matt hummed, turning his face to Frank. 

“How have you been?”

Frank nuzzled Matt’s neck, and Matt had to suppress a giggle at the wet feeling. 

“Alright. Been doing my thing.”

“Mmm. I noticed.”

“We gonna fight about it this year?”

Matt cupped Frank’s face, stroking his thumb over a wide, heavy cheekbone. 

“Hell no. I don’t really wanna fight with you on that ever again.”

“Me, neither.”

They were quiet for a while. They only had the one night together, but after this many years, they didn’t feel the need to fill every moment with talking or actions. It was nice to just take the chance to exist together, quiet and content. Frank held Matt in his arms, pressing his face against Matt’s hair and inhaling. 

Max came over at one point, licking at their faces and insisting someone play with him. Matt and Frank laughed, and Frank stood to play with his dog. Matt listened to the sounds of the two, and smiled. Frank sounded so happy when he was playing with Max, and Max’s happy barks and yips were just the cutest thing.

They kept at it for an hour, until Matt could hear Max flop down on the floor, panting, tail thumping steadily against the ground. Frank laughed, patting the dog’s head.

“Good boy.”

He rejoined Matt on the makeshift bed, shifting and wiggling until he was firmly held in Matt’s arms, snuggled against his chest. Frank hummed-an odd noise, almost like a whole chorus humming at once-and Matt lifted his hand to run his fingers through Frank’s thick, somewhat damp hair. 

“You worn out already?”

Frank laughed against his chest, kissing at the spot in front of him. 

“Not a chance, baby.”

“Good. I’ve been missing you bad, Frank. Nothing I do feels enough like you.”

Frank groaned, kissing Matt’s chest more intently, bringing one hand up to rub at one of Matt’s nipples, sucking on the other one. 

“Oh-oh, Frank-I-please, no matter how much-what I put in me, it doesn’t-it’s not  _you_ -please, Frank, fuck me-”

“Fuck, Matt, fuck yes-get on your back, baby.”

Matt laid on his back, spreading his legs wide, grinning and hoping he looked pretty for Frank. 

“Oh, fuck, Matt.”

Matt assumed that was a confirmation. 

“Well? C’mon, Frank, open me up.”

Frank growled-a deep, guttural noise from his belly-and laid on his front between Matt’s legs. Matt heard him quickly bite at something; Frank was snapping the sharpest points of his claws off so that he didn’t hurt Matt. Matt sighed happily at the first brush of Frank’s finger at his hole. 

“Matt, baby, you look so pretty. Did you open yourself up before you came?”

“Mhm.”

“Wish I could’ve fucking seen that, baby, you working your pretty little ass open just for me. I love you, Matt, I love you.”

Matt felt his soul settle at the repetition of that phrase. ‘ _I love you, I love you_ ’. Frank said it over and over and over every year and Matt would never,  _could_  never tire of it. Frank pressed one thick, slick finger into him, slowly sinking it in until it was pressed full. He rubbed up against Matt’s prostate, teasing at him with another finger but not putting it in. Frank leaned up, wrapping his lips around the head of Matt’s cock, Matt gasping and gently thrusting up. Frank’s tongue worked over the hot flesh, dragging and licking-Frank’s tongue was rougher than a human’s and Matt adored it-distracting Matt as he pushed another finger into him. 

The stretching wasn’t rushed; Frank took his time as much as he could, easy and slow and deep, working Matt open with the slick on his skin. The sensation of that was always strange, but not unpleasant. Matt rocked his hips down more, letting Frank’s fingers glide deeper. He squirmed under his ministrations, nudging at his head. 

“Frank, c-c-c’mon, I need you-please, just-”

“Shh, shh, baby, I got you. I got you, Matt.”

Frank moved, sitting up and rubbing his hands up and down Matt’s thighs.

“How do you want this?”

“I…I-on my back, like this? I want-I want you to look at me-”

Matt could almost hear Frank’s smile. 

“Okay. Take some deep breaths, doll.”

Matt breathed deeply, in, and out, as Frank shifted, lifting one of Matt’s thighs and guiding his cock in, the wet, rounded head pushing at his hole steadily. Frank gasped, and Matt shut his eyes tight. Frank’s cock wasn’t quite as warm as Matt’s, his body temperature as a whole much lower; Matt savored the coolness as it pushed into him, past the tight ring of muscle, slow and easy until Frank’s hips were pressed against Matt’s ass.

“Oh-Matt-I-you feel-oh-”

Matt grinned against the slight burn and pain. He loved knowing that he could make a being like Frank speechless. He wiggled his hips slightly and Frank inhaled sharply, fingers digging into the skin of Matt’s legs. 

“I-Matt, can I-oh-fuck, can I move?”

Matt nodded, reaching up to grip one of Frank’s hands.

“Yeah, please-oh-p-please, oh my-Frank!”

Frank gently pulled back, cock drawing out before he thrusted back in, the cool, toe-curling drag dragging a groan out of Matt. He rolled his hips, encouraging Frank’s movement. 

“Matt, baby-oh-fuck, doll, I missed-goddamn it-”

“I-I know, I-”

Matt was rendered speechless as Frank picked up the pace just slightly, his hips rocking forward, gentle but quicker. Matt bit his lips, still holding Frank’s hand. He felt his body relax, taking Frank deeper, easier. They moved together, bodies melding as though they were the same. Matt guided Frank’s hand to move over him; pressing against the soft part of his abdomen, up to his chest, Frank’s now-dull fingernails-claws?-scratching against Matt’s hard, peaked nipples. 

Matt threw his head back, squirming, a deep sense of satisfaction pushing into every inch of his body. Frank’s cock was insistently nudging at his prostate, the slick constantly seeping from Frank’s skin making the glide smooth and so wonderfully wet. 

“Mmm-Frank-Frank! It-please, I-you feel so fucking-you’re so big, Frank, I love-fuck, I love it, m-more, please-”

Frank shifted position, moving Matt’s ankles up over his shoulders and leaning forward, until he could fuck into him as deeply as possible, Matt practically folded in half for him. He pumped his hips harder, faster, slamming his hips against Matt’s. Matt whimpered, the coolness of Frank’s body a relief and a tease against his own heat. Frank’s hand moved between them, wrapping around Matt’s cock, the sudden shock of a temperature change and pressure on him drawing a choked moan from him. 

“Oh-oh god Frank-Frank fuck fuck fuck goddamn it-I’m-”

Frank was speechless, animal grunts and growls escaping from deep in him, the sound only describable as an otherwordly jungle cat. Matt whimpered, hips bucking as he reached up, fingers tangling in Frank’s thick hair as he shot into Frank’s hand, hot come surely almost burning his cooled skin.

Frank lost his rhythm, a wild yowl echoing through the cave. Matt felt a brief shift in everything around them, flashes of color through his mind, Frank’s form, his self changing for just a moment into something Else-before it ended, Frank panting against him. He carefully pulled out, nuzzling Matt’s neck. A deep, rumbling purr emanated from his chest. Matt laughed, a light noise contrasting Frank’s. 

“F-Frank, I-that was….”

Frank hummed, arms wrapping tight around Matt, shifting them until he could comfortably lay on him. Matt didn’t mind the weight; he enjoyed it, really, the sensation of Frank’s cool, heavy body on his.

“Mhm. You wanna do any more tonight, or…”

Matt thought for a moment, one hand coming up to tangle through Frank’s hair, the other resting on his shoulder.

“No. I think-I just wanna be with you. Can I-”

“Always.”

Matt blushed, knowing he didn’t have to ask Frank to talk about his year. 

“Well, me and Foggy haven’t had any big fights. Oh, and I met some new friends, too, their names are Luke and Jessica, and Luke is Claire’s boyfriend-”

“The nurse?”

“Yeah, the nurse, and she introduced us, and he’s really cool. So is Jess. She picks on me, but it’s not anything serious-oh, untense, I enjoy it. No one ever teases me or picks on me. And-oh, we had this one case…”

Max padded on over on gentle, quiet paws, licking both of them before laying down next to them. Matt and Frank continued talking, throughout the night, until Matt’s eyes drifted shut.

—

Matt blinked, feeling the cool body still next to him. Awake, and clearly watching him. 

“Morning.”

“Morning, sunshine.”

Matt smiled and turned in Frank’s arms. 

“You have to go soon, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I’d rather stay with you, Matt.”

“I know, I-I’d rather you stay with me. Maybe….maybe next time?”

Frank let out a quiet, bittersweet laugh. 

“Maybe, baby.”

Matt hugged Frank tightly, for a long moment, as long a moment as he was allowed, before sitting up. Frank cupped his face, kissing him deeply, sweetly. A long kiss, and then a smaller, shorter one. And another, and another, and another, before Frank stood. He stretched, and Matt heard the wet shift and crack of bones. The smell of gunpowder and blood heavy in the air again. 

“See you around, Matt.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

And he was gone. 

Matt sighed, reaching next to him where he knew his clothes would be, neatly folded. He got dressed, and grabbed his cane. 

“Max? Ready to take me back?”

Max barked happily, licking Matt’s hand and leading him back, through the woods and field, to where the taxi was waiting. 

“Good morning.”

“I guess. What the hell’re you doing out here alone?”

Matt smiled, taking a deep breath, the lingering smell of gunpowder, blood, and something Else still settled on his skin.

“I was on a date.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo what's up i'm mick and i haven't updated this in what feels like 8 years here's some smut


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> frank gets a visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set right before the punisher series starts.

Frank didn’t startle at the sight of the man on his bed. He sighed and tried to fight off his smile.

“Red.”

“Frank. Nice looking place you got here.”

Frank’s lips twitched up, unable to stop the small, lop-sided grin. 

“Thanks.”

Matt stood, walking towards Frank and coming to a stop in front of him. 

“I missed you, Frank.”

Frank’s smile softened, and he slid his arms around Matt, pulling him flush against his own body. God, he’d missed the feeling of Matt’s muscular, smaller body pressed up on him, Matt’s warmth and his scent. He leaned in, inhaling the smell of Matt’s hair, feeling the soft strands against his face.

“I missed you too, Matt.”

Matt grinned, and reached up to cup Frank’s face, feeling through the thick, long beard. 

“What in the  _world_  is  _this_?”

Frank pulled his face away only to grin and rub it against Matt’s cheeks, which made Matt giggle, trying to pull away, which only made Frank try harder. 

“Well clearly, it’s a Matt tickler.” 

“Frank!” 

Matt squealed and Frank picked him up around his waist, carrying him to and dropping him on the bed. Matt laughed, sitting up and reaching up to run his hands across Frank’s firm, thick chest. He pulled the zipper down on Frank’s hoodie, pushing it off his shoulders. Matt leaned forward as he inched Frank’s shirt up his body, kissing at the skin as it was revealed to him. Frank sighed, resting one hand on Matt’s shoulder, the other cupping the back of Matt’s head, threading his fingers through his hair. 

“Mm. Your hair’s grown out.”

“Yeah. You like it?”

Frank gripped Matt’s chin, tilting his head up to look at him. Matt looked…rough. His hair was longer, face a little thinner. He’d even felt lighter. 

“Wondering what’d make you turn into a hippy, like your friend.”

Matt frowned, and Frank winced. 

“Some…some things happened, and-”

“Matt, it’s okay. You don’t gotta get into it, not right now.”

Matt smiled, and went back to kissing at Frank’s stomach, nuzzling the soft skin there. His nose bumped over a few scars.

“These are new, too.”

“Lots of new things happening.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Frank pulled away, moving to sit on the bed next to Matt. He pulled his shoes off, while Matt did the same. Frank laid down, running a hand over Matt’s hip, pulling him close again. Matt laid down, facing Frank, nuzzling his bearded cheek and grinning. He kissed at the flat of Frank’s nose, kissing his lips after. It was a quick kiss to start with, deeper ones following. Frank slipped an arm under him, pulling Matt to lay on top of him. He felt Matt smile into the kiss, and he slid his hands down, until they cupped Matt’s ass. Matt moaned, and spread his legs, Frank getting his hands between them, pressing and rubbing until Matt gasped and broke their kiss. 

“Fuck, Frank, do you-do you have condoms?”

“Yeah. Under the mattress.”

Matt reached over the side of the bed, grabbing a few of the condoms and sitting back up, straddling Frank’s hips. He could feel Frank’s hard, thick cock straining against his jeans, pressed up against Matt. Matt rocked his hips, throwing his head back at the sensation, pleasant, slow sparks moving up his spine. Frank slid his hands up Matt’s thighs, a trail up to his hips and under his shirt. He pushed it up, large palms gliding over soft, scarred skin, until Matt finally tugged it all the way off. Frank grinned at the sight of Matt’s bare chest; Matt really was gorgeous, scarred and pale and muscular. Frank cupped Matt’s tits gently, fondling and squeezing them. Matt moaned, eyes slipping closed. He smiled. 

“Frank, how do you wanna-”

“Just like this is fine, Matt. You know I like having you on top of me.”

Matt grinned and lifted off of Frank to start getting his pants off, while Frank removed his own. He would usually prefer to undress each other, slowly, taking their time to touch and explore, but they both felt a bit rushed. Matt shifted back on top of him, straddling his legs. He ran his hands along Frank’s thick thighs, until he reached his cock, wrapping one hand around it; rough, thin fingers moving slowly over the hot, hard flesh. Frank moaned and thrusted up into the grip gently. 

“Hey-c’mon, don’t tease-”

Matt grinned, big hazel eyes playful. 

“Couldn’t help myself. You always get so cute when I tease you.”

Frank smiled and kept gently moving his hips, slowly fucking Matt’s grip. Matt tore the condom wrapper open, rolling it over Frank’s cock and stroking him still. He kept his hand around Frank’s cock as he shifted forward, until his hips were above Frank’s. He spread his own folds open, guiding Frank into him until the head was inside him. Matt bit his lip against the noise that wanted to escape, and sunk down, his cunt slowly enveloping Frank’s cock. 

Frank held his breath as Matt moved on him. Matt was always so perfectly wet and warm and just tight enough for him. He watched Matt closely; Matt was biting his reddened lip, a thin sheen of sweat over his forehead. Frank’s eyes traveled down Matt’s body to where they were joined, Matt’s hips now flush against Frank’s. He reached up, running his hands along Matt’s thighs. 

“Fuck-Matt, I-I need-”

“I-I know, I know, just-I need a minute, it’s been-fucking Christ, you’re big, it’s been too long-”

Frank almost whined, needing to move in that wet, tight heat but unable to. He waited, patiently, until Matt began moving, lifting himself slowly before dropping down. Matt controlled the pace, Frank laying back and reaching up to hold Matt’s hands. Matt grinned, mouth dropping open a little, as he laced their fingers together. 

“Frank-I-you can move now, I need-I need you-”

Frank rocked his hips up, groaning, finally getting to move into that heat. He kept holding Matt’s hands, following Matt’s pace. As Matt moved faster, so did he, fucking into him harder. He released one of Matt’s hands to reach down and wrap his index finger and thumb around Matt’s cock-it was a gorgeous little thing, swollen and red and so much fun to use his mouth on-stroking Matt while slightly shifting the angle of his hips. Matt gasped, placing both his hands flat on Frank’s chest, hips moving harder as Frank fucked him faster. 

“Oh-oh my g-Frank, goddamn it, fuck fuck-I’m-”

“C’mon, baby, come on, that’s what I want, come for me-”

Matt’s eyes squeezed shut and he cried out, cunt convulsing around Frank’s cock, tightening rhythmically as he fell against Frank’s chest. Frank wrapped his arms around Matt’s torso, holding him tight as he thrusted into him faster now, chasing his own orgasm with Matt’s body. Matt panted heavily against him; Frank knew he was overwhelmed by the sensations, and that knowledge drove Frank to move faster, deeper, until he buried his face in Matt’s shoulder to muffle his own cry, cock swelling and shooting his come, filling up the condom. 

Frank loosened his grip on Matt, but didn’t let go. He reached one hand up to gently pet the back of Matt’s head while they caught their breath. Frank slowly shifted them onto their sides, pulling out of Matt as easily as possible. He tied the condom and tossed it in the trash near his bed before laying back down and pressing himself flush against Matt. Frank wrapped his arms around him, and held him close. 

“You okay?”

Matt nodded, face hidden against Frank’s neck.

“C’mon, Matt, you know I need words.”

“’m okay. Just. A lot. It-it-it was a lot. But the good kind. I-I’d missed you, Frank.”

Frank rested his cheek against the top of Matt’s head, smiling.

“I missed you too, counselor.”

Matt laughed, tired but genuine, and pulled away enough for Frank to look at his face-he knew Frank liked to, and liked to look him in the eye while they talked. He didn’t understand it, even with all the times Frank had told him he had beautiful eyes.

“How are you, really?”

Frank sighed. 

“It’s not-it’s still bad, but I’m not-I’m better. Happier that you’re here.”

And it was true; Frank was happier with Matt around him, even when they argued. It felt real, and Matt had never held back on his opinions of Frank or his actions, and he was funny and smart. He was really everything Frank wanted in a partner.

Frank still doubted the he himself was everything Matt wanted.

“Hey, I can hear you thinking. What’s wrong?”

Frank grinned, leaning in and kissing Matt softly. He rested his forehead against Matt’s when he pulled away. 

“Nothing. Just…thinking about us.”

Matt smiled, that big, bright smile that seemed to be reserved for as many people as Frank could count on one hand. 

“I’ve been thinking about us a lot, too. I love you, Frank.”

Frank stared at Matt, searching his face for any signs of dishonesty. He knew that Matt wasn’t lying, but…

“Frank, it’s okay. I know you can’t say it. You’re still….recovering, from everything, and if you can’t now, or if you can’t ever, say that, or even feel it, then-I don’t mind that, Frank, it’s not something that bothers me. I want to be with you because I love you. And I know you do feel something for me, and I know why you can’t quite quantify it as ‘love’. I’m not gonna leave you just because of that.”

“I just want-I wanna make you happy-”

Matt cupped Frank’s face with one hand, the other resting over his chest.

“And you do, Frank. You’re also a pain in my ass sometimes, but you make me happier than-than anyone else ever has.”

Frank frowned, and shifted them until Matt was on his back, Frank laying over him. He moved down until he could rest his head on Matt’s stomach. He kissed at a scar near him, closing his eyes. He felt Matt’s thin, rough fingers come up, threading through his hair. Matt hummed. 

“You know, I think I like this hair on you.”

Frank snorted.

“But you don’t like the beard?’

“I never said I didn’t like it, Frank, I just was….surprised. I bet you look like a hipster.”

“Hey now.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’d probably prefer ‘mountain man’ or ‘lumberjack’. I don’t think you’re in the right body type to be called a ‘bear’, though-”

Frank laughed and nipped at the soft skin of Matt’s stomach, which made Matt yelp and swat at Frank’s head. 

“Hey! I’m just saying-”

“Yeah, well let me shut you up, Red.”

Frank moved his head down, nuzzling at Matt’s inner thighs, then at his cunt. Frank had missed this so bad, the chance to taste Matt, to make him feel good. Matt gasped above him, fingers tangling in Frank’s thick, long hair.

“Oh-oh my god-fuck-so-so that beard  _does_  have a use-”

Frank grinned against Matt and licked at Matt’s rapidly swelling cock. He wrapped his lips around it, eyes rolling back as he sucked. Matt squealed, squirming under Frank’s grip. 

“Oh! Fuck, Frank, I-oh my god, please-”

Frank shit his eyes and sucked harder, tongue working over Matt’s cock. He reached up with one hand, placing his palm flat on Matt’s stomach, and he felt one of Matt’s hands grip his. 

“Frank!”

Matt’s hips bucked under Frank and he felt a little burst of wetness against his chin, and shivered, knowing his beard would smell like Matt’s come for days. Frank sat up, kissing at Matt’s cock, in a trail up his body until he could kiss at the hollow of his throat. He settled against Matt, eyelids heavy. 

“Gonna go to sleep. You gonna be here when I wake up?”

“Mmm. Since you seem to wanna sleep on top of me, I don’t see how I have a choice.’

Frank smiled and pressed his face against Matt’s neck. Matt rubbed one hand up and down Frank’s back, the other rubbing gently at his scalp. He felt himself drift off, the warmth and sensation of being held drawing him into a peaceful sleep; more peaceful than any he remembered in recent months.

—


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Frank Castle's Frustrations, feat. The Local VA

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from a friend c:

Frank sighed, his jaw tightening and muscles tensing. Matt walked in, setting down the mug of black coffee for his husband. Frank looked up at him and reached up, lightly running his hand up and down the side of Matt’s thigh.

“Thanks, baby.”

“Are you on hold again?”

Frank sighed again, taking a drink of the coffee-the warmth and bitterness helped him refocus a bit-and set it down to run his palm over his face, back into his thick, dark hair. 

“Yeah. Think I’m gonna be spending the rest of our wonderfully wedded lives on goddamn hold with the VA.”

Matt smiled, a little sad, and sat next to Frank. 

“There has to be something we can do to speed this along, Frank. This is the third time this  _week_  that you’ve tried to call.”

“I know, baby, I know, but-that just ain’t how it works.”

Matt frowned, sitting next to Frank, Max happily sleeping on the armchair near them. 

It had been four months since Frank had initially called the local VA to schedule an appointment with a neurologist and a psychiatrist. He needed it, he knew he did, and Matt knew it too. Matt also knew Frank wasn’t really happy about needing it. But Frank was willing to accept even the harshest things about his life and work through them. 

It was one of the many, many reason Matt loved Frank so dearly. 

They had managed to schedule an appointment a month in, only to find out that the person in charge of the scheduling had never actually told the neurologist that Frank had made the appointment. The woman was booked for an entire month after that, as were all their other neurologists. The psychiatrist would be able to work them in, but only once a month, but that didn’t work for Frank, who needed to go at least twice a month.

Matt had spent the last two months trying to figure out if there was anything he could do legally. He and Foggy spent any hours not spent on cases researching it, only to find that….there was nothing. It was just this. A lot of waiting. A lot of stress. They’d tried to find out if they could see anyone else, but evidently Frank had ended up with a unique insurance that pretty much only allowed him to see doctors through the VA. 

“God, finally-Hello, yes. Castle, 345921. I-wait, hold on-dammit!”

Matt almost flinched. Frank turned to him and frowned, he’d noticed, and he squeezed Matt’s hand. 

“Sorry, shit-shouldn’t have raised my voice like that. They put me on hold again.”

—

“I’m just trying to-yeah, make an appointment. I need to see a neurologist and a psychiatrist. I need to be able to see the psychiatrist at least twice a month. That’s what the last doctor told me. I-wait, come-come on, please don’t-”

Frank was almost in tears, and he knew that only proved his need. Before being a Marine, he rarely ever really got….frustrated. Annoyed, yeah, but frustrated to the point he started crying? Maybe once or twice, but….

It wasn’t almost every day, like it was now. 

He hated this. He hated how it affected his daily life, his marriage. Frank desperately wanted to have kids with Matt, but he didn’t want to be a father until he had a handle on this. Not with the nightmares, and outbursts, and episodes. He’d almost hurt Matt one night. He couldn’t risk having children and something happening because he-

Frank took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to use some of the relaxation methods he’d learned. He called Max over to him and calmed down at the sight of the dog. Max smiled at him, that big doggy smile, and got up next to Frank on the couch, happily settling with his head on Frank’s lap. Frank understood this meant ‘It’s time to pet me’ in Max’s world. 

He stroked his hand over the smooth, soft fur of Max’s head, and thought for a moment. Frank allowed himself to zone out to the inane tune of the ‘on hold’ music. He laughed to himself. They couldn’t at least play something good? It’s like they’d never heard of Earth, Wind & Fire. 

Frank perked up at the sound of a real human voice on the other end of the phone. 

“Hello, can I please get your name and-”

“Castle, 345921.”

“Alllllright. It looks like we have an opening with Doctor Calloway on August sixteenth, and with Doctor Levesque on September fourth, do those work for you?”

Frank’s mouth gaped. 

“I-that’s  _five_   _months_  away.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Castle. If you’d booked your appointment sooner-”

“What’d you say?”

“If-if you’d called sooner, we could have-”

“If I’d called sooner? I only got home in January. And I spent a month in a goddamn medically induced coma. I couldn’t have fucking called sooner because I didn’t know I was gonna be having goddamn panic attacks and nightmares so bad that I wake up afraid of hurting my goddamn husband, cause when I wake up, I think I’m still-no. You know what, nevermind. I’ll take it. Fuckin’ sign me up.”

—

Frank groaned, laying his head on the table. Luke reached over and patted him on the shoulder. Matt and Claire joined them at the table, having grabbed their drinks. 

“I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.”

“Frank?”

Luke leaned forward. 

“He was just telling me about the shit at the VA. He’s gotta wait five whole months?”

Matt frowned. 

“Unless someone cancels, yeah.”

“That’s ridiculous. I think I could get you an appointment with one of the neurologists at the hospital within two weeks.”

“I would fuckin’ love that, but my insurance is fucked up and I have to have it go through someone at the VA, and having them approve of someone new will take just as long.”

“Well…if there is anything I can do, tell me. Maybe I can call them and try and get any approval pushed through.

Frank peeked up at her from the table.

“I-thanks, Claire.”

—

Matt stepped in the door and knew something was wrong. The energy in the apartment felt wrong.

And then he heard it.

“One batch, two batch. Penny and Dime. One batch, two batch. Penny and dime. One-”

Matt walked quietly into the kitchen, where the sound came from. Frank was on the floor, and Matt could hear the crunch of broken glass under his shoe as he walked to him. 

“Frank?”

“No.”

“Lieutenant Castle?”

“Yes?”

“What happened?”

“It broke. It-it broke.”

“Are you injured, Lieutenant?”

Frank held his hand out and nudged Matt’s arm with it to let him know where it was. Matt gently ran his hands along Frank’s arm, reaching his hand and feeling where he was cut. Nothing too deep, but Matt could feel little pieces of glass still stuck in his fingers.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“No.”

“Come with me, Lieutenant Castle.”

Matt stood and led Frank to the bathroom, pulling out their first aid kit and feeling around for the spot where they kept rubbing alcohol in. He went to work pulling out the pieces of glass, making sure to get all the tiny splinters of it, before cleaning the wounds thoroughly, bandaging them up neatly. 

“You’ll need to change the bandage once a day at first, and then maybe once every two days. No permanent damage. It should heal up within a week.”

“Thank you.”

“Dismissed, Lieutenant.”

Frank stood and left the bathroom, and Matt exhaled heavily, slipping to the floor and bringing his legs up to his chest, trying to keep his breathing even.

This was never easy. For either of them, but Matt understood it was worse for Frank. It was like he was transported back to-then. When he was a Marine, that’s the place his mind would go when he was in an episode. Everyone and everything was either an ally or an enemy. Thankfully, Frank almost always recognized Matt as an ally.

Matt leaned his head back against the cool tile of the wall, taking a deep breath before standing. He walked out, making his way to the place he assumed Frank would be. He was right; Frank was sitting in a tight corner, between the wall and a bookshelf (they’d both have it in the corner, but Frank needed the space). Max was there with him; Matt couldn’t tell exactly, but he assumed Max was pressed to Frank’s side or laying over his lap. 

“Lieutenant Castle?”

“Yes, sir?”

“I’m going to be moving around and cooking dinner. Any noises you hear are just me, alright?”

“Understood.”

Matt went about the rest of the evening as usual. That’s all he could do.

—

Frank blinked his eyes open, reaching over to the coffee table to pick up the phone. Damn thing wouldn’t quit ringing. He must’ve dozed off on the couch.

“Yeah?”

His own voice sounded rough. He was probably talking in his sleep again.

“Frank?”

“Hey, Claire.”

“I got them to accept a different doctor. He can see you in a week, and I made sure all of the psychiatrists he might recommend are cleared, too.”

Frank sat up, mouth gaping silently.

“W-what?”

“It took a few days and a lot of yelling, but they did it. I think a general tried to recruit me, too? I guess I made an impact.”

“What.”

“Are you okay?”

Frank sniffed, wiping the back of his hand across his face, trying to stave off the tears that had gathered at his eyes.

“Claire, I-I don’t-thank you, I-”

“It’s no problem, Frank. At least as long as you and Matt are cool being godfathers.”

Frank went silent again.

“What?!”

He could hear her grin through the phone, and it made his own lips twitch up.

“Yeah. Me and Luke found out yesterday. I’m almost two months along.”

“Claire, that’s-shit, that’s great! Tell you what, me and Matt, we’re taking you two to dinner.”

Claire laughed, and that made Frank smile for real. 

“Before you give me the dinner reservations, let me give you the doctor information, alright?”

Frank nodded, grabbing a piece of paper and a pen, quickly writing down the information for the neurologist. 

“Thank you, again. You didn’t have to do all that for me.”

“Oh, come on, Frank. It was good practice. Knowing I can scare an entire VA administration into doing what I want gives me a lot of confidence as a mom.”

Frank laughed, his whole body relaxing with it. He said goodbye to Claire, promising to text her with the dinner plans. Frank took a deep breath, and when he exhaled, it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He picked up his phone again, dialing Matt and bringing it to his earl

“Hey, Frank.”

“Hey, baby. I got some good news.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt, frank, and morning sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all this one is trans man frank castle because of course it is

Matt shifted in bed. felt strong arms tighten around him briefly. He smiled, pressing forward; Frank was awake, but only just so. Big eyes slowly and blearily blinking open, arms tightening again around Matt’s waist. They almost always fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

Matt hummed, lifting his hand to run it over the dip of Frank’s waist, the gentle curve of his hip, soft, scarred, stretch-marked skin under bare under his fingers. His hand came to a rest on the apex of that soft-skinned curve. A scar-from a bullet in Long Island that was a long story-right under his palm. Matt squeezed, and Frank sighed, happy and sleepy and comfortable. 

Matt moved his hand down over Frank’s thigh, more scars, more marks, more soft skin. He moved his hand round back, squeezing firmly at Frank’s ass. He heard and felt Frank huff out a laugh against his shoulder. Frank pressed in closer, arms coming up around Matt’s shoulders, nuzzling at his cheek. Matt moved his hand again, to the front now. Frank caught on quick-as always-and lifted one leg to rest over Matt’s, spreading his thighs. Matt slipped his hand between them, and Frank gasped as Matt’s fingers made contact with the slick skin. 

Matt grinned, wrapping one arm under Frank and kissing him, tongue moving out to press against his lover’s plush lips. He gripped Frank’s cock between his thumb and first two fingers, stroking it slowly, teasing before sliding his middle finger along the slit of Frank’s cunt. He pressed it in, slowly, savoring the feeling of hot, wet skin around his finger. Matt inhaled deeply, the scent of Frank’s skin against his nose, the scent of his slick strong in the air. He pushed his finger as deep as it could go, curling it, thrusting it in and out at a slow pace, teasing again. 

“C’mon, Red, need more, please-”

Matt couldn’t turn down that request, not said so sweetly. Matt pushed his ring finger in alongside the first, stroking more intently at the walls of Frank’s cunt. Matt loved touching Frank like this, the softness of his insides exquisite on Matt’s fingers. Frank gasped, arms tightening and hips rocking forward, trying to get more. 

Matt gave him more. 

Matt moved his fingers quickly, curling them up and pounding against the spot that he knew drove Frank crazy. He felt Frank’s quick, hot breaths on his shoulder. Heard the tiny, quiet moans and whimpers, every little muscle movement. Frank rocked his hips, fucking himself onto Matt’s fingers, gasping and stilling. Matt felt Frank’s cunt pulse around his fingers, and Matt felt his own cock twitch. He’d been hard since the start, but he couldn’t help but make Frank come first. 

Matt kissed gently at Frank’s temple, nuzzling his hair. Frank reached between them and tugged Matt’s sleep pants down, wrapping his thick fingers around Matt’s cock. The rough skin of his hand dragged over the soft, sensitive skin of Matt’s cock, thumb rubbing at the slit. Matt groaned, gently rocking his hips forward into Frank’s grip. Matt leaned forward, kissing at Frank’s throat, nipping the skin, kissing up to his jaw. 

“Frank, please-”

“Yeah, Red, I want it-”

Matt ran his hands over Frank’s sides and stomach again as Frank turned to face away from him. Matt shifted, holding one of Frank’s legs up and positioning his hips against Frank’s. He felt Frank reach down, between his own legs, grasping Matt’s cock and guiding it to his soaked, slack cunt. Matt thrusted forward, and Frank cried out at the sudden fullness. 

“Oh-fuck-fuck, Matt-”

Matt leaned up on one elbow, still holding Frank’s leg and slowly fucking into him, kissing Frank’s broad shoulder, pressing his forehead against the slick skin. 

“Frank-fuck, I-”

“Get-get on top of me, Matt, come on-”

Matt pulled out, Frank moving to lay on his back while Matt got between his legs. He ran his fingers along Frank’s chest, down over his hipbones and thighs, spreading the soft, hot skin of his cunt and guiding himself in. Frank reached up, tangling his fingers in Matt’s hair and pulling him down to kiss him. Matt groaned into the kiss, thrusting his hips forward, fucking into Frank’s body, eyes rolling back at the feeling of Frank’s insides gripping and tightening around his cock. No matter how many times they fucked like this, Matt could never believe how good it felt. 

“Oh-oh! Fuck, Matt-fucking-mmm, fuck, your dick is fucking-so goddamn  _big_ , baby, fuck me-goddamn- _fuck!”_

Matt pressed deeper and Frank practically squealed, bucking his hips up, against Matt’s, wrapping his legs around Matt’s slim waist. 

“Please, fuck, Matt-’m gonna-oh-oh!”

Matt thrusted forward, hard, hitting just the right spot that he knew would make Frank come. Frank’s eyes rolled back, toes curling as his hips twitched. Matt fucked deep into him, leaning forward and kissing Frank through his orgasm, the flood of slick come on his cock making him shiver. Frank panted, muscles still twitching.

“Frank-can I-please, I’m close-”

“Come inside me, baby, want you to come in me-fuck, Matt, c’mon, fuck me-”

Matt shifted onto his knees, getting more leverage, pounding into Frank until he felt his orgasm shock through his body, hips pressed flush against Frank’s, pumping a thick, hot load of come into his lover. Matt threw his head back, rocking his hips and whimpering. 

“ _Fuck_ , Matt-so fuckin’-goddamn, so fucking good-feels so fucking good-”

Matt stilled, closing his eyes to savor the moment. His cock softened, and he pulled back enough to slip out. Frank sighed deeply and rubbed at his lower stomach. 

“Fuck, Matt, think you might’ve knocked me up with that one.”

Matt laid on the bed on his back and laughed. 

“Does that mean I did well?”

Matt turned his head towards Frank, closing his eyes again and inhaling deeply. He loved the scent of the room after sex with Frank.

“Did better than ‘well’, baby. God  _damn_.”

Frank stretched, Matt catching the sound of a few joints popping. He stood, not bother to get dressed as he walked out of the bedroom and to the kitchen. Matt lay in bed a while longer, listening to the sounds of Frank getting ready for the day, and the smell of coffee in the air, the sound of Max’s paws as he followed Frank around. 


End file.
